3 a.m.

Give or take a couple of minutes. Oh, I know it's not that time now. That's what time I woke this morning. And I didn't make it back to sleep. Now, I know what you're thinking. It's because today is the Big Presentation. That's why I didn't go back to sleep...tossing and turning and worrying about it. Well, no. I really didn't think much about it. No, you see this is normal for me. Not that I wake up every morning at 3. I wake most mornings at about 3 and I am able to go back to sleep about 60-65% of the time. That other percent...I just lie there eyes wide and not even feeling sleepy. I can lie there for half an hour and not even a yawn. At that point I know there's no gain to be had from lying there any longer trying to think relaxing thoughts and doing deep breathing. So it's up and at 'em. This was one of those mornings. I think I might have lightly dozed a bit, but I recall seeing the clock at 3:14 and 3:20... So what sleep may have happened was not productive. So do I feel exhausted and wish I was home asleep instead of here at my desk very early (before 6). No. Not right now. I feel fine. I'm ready for the day and not tired or cranky. That will come about 1-1:30. That's when I'll have to drag away from my desk and walk around before I fall asleep. Then when I get home, I'll crash for about an hour. And that will carry me over until bed time. And tonight I'll probably sleep past 3 am. I have a feeling that I'm not saying something unfamiliar to a lot of people. I'm willing to bet that more people than not do understand.

And today is the big day for the Ares VI hazard report presentation. My confidence was greatly boosted yesterday when there was a flurry of activity centered around things that were "missing" from the report format. Well, this is going into PDR, so it isn't expected to be 100% complete. Still we looked at my report again and discussed what to change about the template. The conclusion was not to change anything at this late time. "We'll see what they do to Brenda tomorrow and then we'll decide what to do with the rest of the reports. If she survives, we won't change anything. If she gets beat up then we'll make the changes." I knew I was being the sacrifical cow. But I say that with tongue very firmly in cheek. I'm not nervous anymore...really and truly. I've become calmer the closer it gets...ironically. But praying earnestly for peace of mind helps that a great deal. The other side of the coin on going first is that I will have it over with and not have it on my shoulder...and not have to make all those changes and incorporate all those incoming comments the day before the presentation. I can sit back and take potshots at all the other reports to be presented. :D