A Poem

I looked across the green field and saw him,
Tall, lean with brown hair fluttering in the wind.
He stood silent, pensive, deep in his thought.
So strong his presence, no one dared intrude.

I longed for more knowledge, so on a whim,
I crossed as if I did not comprehend
His presence here meant solace he had sought.
I tried to seem as if caught in a brood.

Stealing a glance, his chiseled face was grim,
Fixed in a gaze that nothing could transcend.
Not in this world, but beyond, he was caught.
What thoughts behind the mask were locked in feud?

Eyes so blue that caught the light yet were dim
Seemed to see the wind and refused to bend
To its control. The man stood still yet fought
An unknown battle that did not conclude.

To learn more on a casual talk seemed slim.
So I decided this effort to end.
His small attempt at some peace seemed hard bought.
This world and its intrusions he eschewed.

I walked away slowly but could not free
My mind of the man who mystified me.

Chaos and Mayhem

Chaos cha⋅os  /ˈkeɪɒs/ [key-os]
–noun
1. a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order.
2. any confused, disorderly mass: a chaos of meaningless phrases.

Mayhem may⋅hem  /ˈmeɪhɛm, ˈmeɪəm/ [mey-hem, mey-uhm]
–noun
1. Law. the crime of willfully inflicting a bodily injury on another so as to make the victim less capable of self-defense or, under modern statutes, so as to cripple or mutilate the victim.
2. random or deliberate violence or damage.
3. a state of rowdy disorder: Antagonisms between the various factions at the meeting finally boiled over, and mayhem ensued.

Well, there's no actual crime going on, not a legal one. But certainly a moral one. Killing my soul. The longer I have to live in this world, the more I detest it. I can't wait to get out of it and get to a place where "they" can't get to me...because I don't expect many, if any, of them to be there.

Koo-rah

Koo-rah, koo-rah, koo-rah. It's another creen day. We will rise and splahr and quesh on this day. It's never out of fah to rake about the reet and to try to kresh the meet and go without a preat. We all know what it's like to rush around the way, and come and fall together all around the fray. It's all about the grane and no one knows that more than the one who arrives first and throws around his snore. It's never been so bray as always on this day. So rise up early now and don't get left aloof. We've got to loft our whens and get above the crowd. It's never too late to catch a lonely cow. So bring your socks along and don't get left behind. We're off right now to join, so dress on the way. We'll see you later on when all the krinks begin. And don't forget to start to open in the len.

Birth

Birth
B. L. Lindley Anderson

When Tsiolkovsky glanced on high
To consider his cradle of birth,
He knew then that he could not stay
And built a plan to rise from earth.

The End of the Story

I don't like being so self-satisfied. I know I risk being over bearing when I am.

Recall from Monday the tale of the sketch. I did print a copy of the sketch for Dr. Griffin, as he requested. Rather than getting it ready to mail, I decided to attempt a different approach. On Tuesday there was an all-hands meeting for MSFC employees with Dr. Griffin. I had known this was coming. So, I went to the meeting armed with the sketch, but not with hopes too high. I didn't expect the chance to approach him...but even if the chance was there, I had to try. The people running this were very strict about his time and asked people not to come down afterwards because Dr. Griffin had a luncheon speech and had to stay on schedule. Ah well...

But...a fellow went down anyway with a book for Dr. Griffin to sign; Dr. Griffin was the author. So I thought, what the heck, and down I went.

That's when I ran into the same public affairs lady that had given me a hard time about getting the STS-120 crew to sign one of my paintings. She was shaking her head and waving her hands at me. I told her I just wanted to hand this folder to Dr. Griffin. And that's when he turned to me. I introduced myself and he recalled. He accepted the folder and started showing the sketch to everyone. He was very pleased. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned and a lady grabbed my hand and introduced herself as Dr. Griffin's wife. She said she was so pleased she had a chance to meet me. She loved the sketch, saying that it was next to impossible to get Mike to sit for photos. The two of them were just wonderful, very nice and gracious. So I pushed my luck and asked him if I sent him a copy of the sketch if he'd sign it for me. "Of course I will!"

This is the third run-in I've had with Ms. PR...and her eyes were shooting daggers. Who cares? Nothing can upset me today. :D As Steve said, "he's just a regular engineer like you and me."

Imagine that

Let me introduce you. This is Michael Griffin, current NASA administrator. I did the drawing, intrigued by the intense concentration in a photo of Dr. Griffin watching a launch. I hung up a copy at work and that was basically it. Until yesterday when a close friend, Steve, urged me to email it to Dr. Griffin. Well...I didn't know about that. It seemed bold and probably a breech of some special protocol on who could contact the administrator. Steve strongly urged me...and I decided to give it a go. I wondered what awaited me...being ignored, chastised... But I got a very nice note from the administrator and a request for a print...signed by me. Well, imagine that. We actually exchanged a couple of emails and he's quite pleasant, and amusing. I'm sure it is of little or no interest to anyone but myself, but I'm quite pleased...

ISS sighting

Last night my dearest friend, better half and I were found in the street before our house, standing and staring into the sky. The advantage of living on a quite unbusy street is the ability to do this without disrupting the flow of traffic. Then there was the cry, "There it is!"

"It" is the International Space Station. That technical wonder that circles above us, occupied for nearly upon ten years now, built by tedious labor of astronauts in hundreds of hours of EVAs made more difficult by the lack of gravity and air. That only makes it more amazing in what they have accomplished.

The ISS has grown more than most people imagine. So many have seen photos of it, but don't truly have the idea of just how big it truly is, particularly inside. At any rate, it is now big enough that it rivals the planet Venus in size and visible magnitude. I'm sure it likely has been ID'ed as a UFO as well.

Though I well understand the orbital mechanics at work, it still amazes me to look up and see the ISS appear just at the time predicted, to watch it gracefully sail over head and disappear rather suddenly as it passes the terminator into, what is for the ISS, night time. And the think that there are three space travelers--scientists--on this light racing across the sky, nearing the end of their six month stay. Have they really been up there so long, and I have seldom noted their passage? I see it on NASA TV and still am rather astounded to see ISS hurry away from my wondering eyes.

NASA maintains a web site listing ISS sitings for locations in the US. http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/realdata/sightings/cities/skywatch.cgi?country=United+States I recommend experiencing this at least one time. It never ceases to put my mind into consideration of place in universe and life, something that is more needed among all peoples at such a time as this.

Ah

I completed the first oil painting that I've done in several years. Quite happy with the way it turned out. It was good fun and as relaxing as I recall. I did need to start with something loose, not detailed--to get back into the feel of it all, handling the brushes and the paint. It is like riding a bike. Well, not quite. It's more than just throwing paint on the canvas... There are more control issues than with riding a bike. At any rate, it was good to be back in the paint. Many ideas spring to mind for other paintings. I can't wait.

Sunrise on Mars

Color it red. And imagine rolling over to turn off the alarm, grumbling at it all the while. Stumble to the kitchen and inhale the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee with a promise of return to life. Pour a cup, careful not to spill while stifling a yawn. Ah...hot and black, just what's needed to get going on an early morn, start of a day certain to be very busy. And what's the weather like outside? Stroll over to the window for a glimpse of the thermometer. Open the light shield...and the Martian sunrise greets you. In spite of the early grumpiness, a smile creeps up the corners of the lips. It's not just another ordinary day. No, this is a day of continued exploration of a temporary home, a new and fascinating world full of secrets to be mined. Martian sunrise.

Monday morning

It's human nature to dread Monday morning, and to moan that the weekend went by too quickly. At least it is for those who work Monday through Friday. Those of us don't see that Monday is a day off for many other people. So we stand ready to condemn a day that some people long for as much as we long for Friday. That is human nature. We think of self first, and note I did say "we" because I recognize it in myself as well. I do not claim to be without fault. Being in contact more these days with people who do not have the regimented work schedule that I do does make me stop and think about this more. I think we all need an attitude adjustment from time to time. And I don't mean that in the sadistic sense of the term either. I simple mean that we all could do with a change of point of view. And not just on work schedule. If you really want to live by the Golden Rule, which I hope most people do want, then we should endeavour to see others through their own eyes rather than ours. And we need to recall that we do not know what is going on in others' lives or minds or hearts before we judge them or run them under because we view they have wronged us. Me too. I've had my attitude changed for me by situations and circumstances I never expected nor asked for, and the result of some of these have truly impacted my life deeply. I hope I never see the world in the same way. I hope the lessons I have learned stick with me every day, and indeed are refreshed by other encounters so that I never forget.

Irony can be pretty ironic

I have to return to the subject of yesterday's rant. After I expressed some frustration with my work situation, I attended the morning staff meeting. The branch chief had an award to present. Used to rarely receiving such, because I am not of the chosen, I barely took interest. That's when he announced that the award was...for me. Color me surprised...whatever color that is.

And this does have a more direct relation to yesterday's rant. One of my frustrations is that I am getting contradictory direction from my branch chief, who is my supervisor, and the task lead, who thinks he is my supervisor. One of those contrary instructions was covering the system safety task on the vibration test for Ares I. Branch chief assigned it to me and told me to continue to follow up. Task lead, who can be a major pain, tells me not to do it. And it was for this task that I received the award...for "outstanding support" of the task. Not a group thing either. This was one I truly earned myself. With a lot of help and guidance through prayer. Of course these things are decided by the branch chief, and he'd already complimented me on my performance. This leaves CT, the task lead, with frustrated anger that he's been overruled and that good, the task, and reward came of it.

I'm happy and pleased with the award. I relish a bit of recognition, I confess it. So I'm trying to keep my focus there. However, it also leaves me very confused and frustrated to be in the middle of a still unresolved conflict with those who toy with me as if a doll...

I just want to do my job

So you'd think that management would be quite happy and content with an employee who just wants to get the job done and, essentially, be left alone to do it. A bit of peace and reasonable requests and, as I've been told so many times, once I apprehend what is required I do the job quickly and well. So why is it so difficult then to apprehend, or to even find sanity in the workplace at this moment? Why, when one has sought direction and not gotten it, does the task leader get his drawers in a wad when direction is sought above him? Oh, I know...he thinks that makes him look bad. However, if he'd been doing his job then it would not have been necessary to seek further direction. Makes sense to me. After all, when one finds not enough time to get the job done and the task leader is a brick wall, what is one to do?

After a meeting with the task lead, I was left with a schedule of 26 hours of meetings, overlapping meetings. Do the math. That leaves 14 hours to do actual work; not even two full work days. And yet task leader seemed content to leave the situation this way. Then along comes contractor support and drops a new task at my feet, including 40+ hours of meetings this week, on top of what I already do. Is there any wonder that I sought help from above? How does one figure out how or what to do when everyone needs 3/4 of your time simultaneously and your #1 task isn't getting done...has not been touched in over a month.

My manager was happy that I came to him for advice and guidance. However, he's distance and not very available. Task leader sits two offices away, close enough to glare his deadly glance at every chance and plot revenge. No, not all task leaders are that way. I have had some who were quite reasonable. But this one is full of himself and on his way up, so he thinks. Therefore any mark that has even a hint of darkness to it is anathema to him. Well, less than 5 years to retirement...

I really don't like using the blog for this, but it's either vent some of the frustration, or let it out at an inappropriate time or an inappropriate way. Thank you, blog, for listening

Happy Birthday NASA

What an occasion...to celebrate a milestone anniversary of an agency that has done great and amazing things. What is the right thing to say to recognize NASA and the fruits of its labor? Many words have already been spoken by those wiser than I. So I won't try to be clever or profound. I'll just think over my memories of NASA, which date from very early in my life and are responsible for the fact that I now work for this great organization. How far NASA has led us, from a simple sub-orbital flight to the surface of the moon and beyond. Even where people can't currently travel, NASA still sends robots, and peers into the depths of the universe. And it's not only the places they've gone and the things they've seen, though those are unspeakable achievements on their own, it's also what NASA has accomplished on this planet, for let us not disremember the many technologies that pervade our lives which NASA helped distribute from their halls to ours.

But, to take the view of NASA's current administrator, Michael Griffin, there are many ways to justify NASA's existence and programs. However, at the heart of it all is the basic human desire to explore and to know. This NASA has accomplished as the acme.

And so, to be succinct and, above all, not to become maudlin, I end this post with an enormous salute to all the men and women who led the way, and now keep that path open, to the stars.