Day of Remembrance

27 Jan--41st anniversay of Apollo 1 fire
28 Jan--22nd anniversary of Challenger
1-Feb--5th anniversary of Columbia

Yesterday was the Day of Remembrance for NASA to observe these dates and losses. It's very odd that they are clustered so closely. It gives one a feeling (even though one realizes with rational reasoning that luck isn't a factor) of jinx or bad luck. When the launch of STS-122 (coming up 7 Feb) was moved from December to January because of the ECO sensor problem, we all drew in a long, deep breath. It makes no sense to think of January as a bad luck month and yet we all do. However, if you had endured the deeper horror of being involved in the program that failed, then you would, likely, have the same feeling...like looking over your shoulder in a dark alley.

I wasn't at NASA for Apollo 1. I was eight years old. The reality of it missed my young and innocent soul. However, I was deeply involved in shuttle when Challenger happened. In fact, I was convinced that the component that I worked on had failed and caused it. (That's a story with background. Too long to dip into at this moment.) I was quite sick for a couple of days. I didn't eat or sleep, literally, until someone shoved a plot of the incriminating data under my nose and showed me what really happened. Every time I'd try to sleep, I'd dream of that launch and when the explosion happened, I'd wake up. Eventually I'd drift off, only to have the same events happen...over and over again through the night. I wasn't really a lot happier to know my component didn't cause it, but it was good to know that I didn't have to keep beating myself up for not doing everything I could do. But what about the guys who knew about the O-ring problem and had tried to warn management? Well, they probably have a clear conscience because they did try and often. The managers who waivered that problem for flight after flight, until it blew up in their faces...now those are the ones that I wonder how they can live with themselves.

The foam on Columbia. I had worked for five years in engineering photo analysis (but not at the time of Columbia), and we often saw foam come off the tank, and even strike the vehicle. It had become a non-problem because post-flight inspections didn't show any significant problems. Complacency. But that's the same thing that infected managment just before Challenger. Complacency.

Every time they got away with it, they become bolder in their arrogance that they knew this problem and it wasn't a problem. And people died because of it.

The Day of Remembrance is not just to remember, but to ponder, reflect and think. The guilt still rattles the souls of those who were at NASA during these events. It's not just guilt for those who didn't do their jobs correctly either. Why would one feel guilty if one was not responsible? Because we know that we've been complacent too. Our complacency may not have been the factor that killed someone, but the fact that we allowed the complacency and didn't fight it reminds us that we could have been responsible. The Day of Remembrance is needed just as much for that as for memorializing those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. We need to remember them first, but we need to remember what caused their deaths as well.