"Ordinary" things

Been wondering recently about conversation.

It's hard not to hear people when you are in public places. I get accused of eavesdropping, but it's not that at all. I'm not going out of my way to strain for words through cracks or behind doors. I simply hear people all around me. It's difficult for me to just "shut it out" because of my above average hearing. I hear everything. It's actually frustrating that I can't shut it all out...because I've heard so many things I never wanted to hear.

However, I am digressing from the actual subject here. I hear a lot of people say into their ubiquitous cell phone, "Well, there's really nothing going on...just the same ol' stuff." Some emails filter into my inbox apologizing for taking so long to answer because "I just didn't have anything to say."

For a society that communicates incessantly (cell phones, text messages, email, IM, etc., etc.) so many people claim to have nothing to say. It's not the amount of communication that I'm going to rant on, or the unending use of cell phones. No, not any of that at all.

It's the ordinary, every day things that people consider unworthy of addressing in their communications.

The presence of continuous (24/7) television programming (how many younger people today ever heard of a TV station signing off for the night?) and instantaneous news (it happens, you know it immediately) have contributed their part to this. No, I'm not here to criticize television or the media either. It's simply observation.

People become so inundated with flashy television and spectacular media coverage of breaking news that they walk around in a hyper stimulated state most of the time. One result is that every day life becomes banal and tiresome. That is why the ordinary events of life (which when you think about it are the majority) seem so boring to talk about. Even when someone is reporting on the status of Aunt Tizzy or the nephew with measles, it's passed over quickly as if unworthy of attention. (Unless of course Aunt Tizzy had a spectacular car accident or Nephew Timmy had an extraordinary case of the measles.)

My grandmother used to sit on the porch or in chairs under trees and talk with her friends. That sounds like something guaranteed to bore a five year old to tears, right? That kid would rather be dashing around, going wild with friends. Well, true, at times I did choose that option. But there were many times when I enjoyed listening to them talk...about very ordinary things. Very ordinary. "Got a phone call from Lois the other day. Law...we ain't seen each other in years." "Really? How is she?" "She's just fine. She said she put up 30 jars of beans last week." "She must have a big garden." "They bought the lot next to them so they could have a good one." Quite ordinary.

So why is this of importance enough to me to mention? Observation. I'm a certified people observer. Love to look and listen. You learn so much of human behavior and the human condition. I think part of the joy of that was born in those conversations in the shade in the late summer afternoons. Those people knew how to converse, not talk. There really is an art to it, and they knew it because of the very lack of communication devices and means. They learned how to make time together count because it was more meaningful. Communication was scarcer and so passing on the ordinary events to friends and neighbors was the way to truly learn what was going on outside your sphere. And they were better story tellers too. Knowing how to turn a phrase, the timing of a tale, using the just-so-perfect inflection or small gesture. It added wealth and nuance to a story that is missing from many conversations now.

Certainly you can relate any incident to a friend in any way you choose. However, for fun and a challenge choose something very ordinary (buying a drink at the quick rip) and think about how you could make it into something more. Not by exaggerating or sensationalizing. That would be too easy. How else to dress it up? Aye, there's the rub...and the challenge.