A little dark, but beautiful

The launch of Endeavour on STS-123. The launch time was 1:28 a.m. Who in their right mind would get up at that time only to see a launch? Um...yes. It was simple enough though with a small TV in the bedroom and a watch that has an alarm on it. Not even required to get out of bed. Just wake up, turn the TV on and back to sleep in a few minutes. Yes, I realize how geeky and weird that makes me. I just have ceased to care about that aspect of it.

And so I did manage to collect my ATM card from the credit union, after standing in line only to be told they haven't opened up the ATMs yet. But about a minute after I walk into the house, the phone rings to announce that "we have your card".

I managed to work out the printer-computer "situation". I reinstalled the driver and now I can send a job to the printer and it actually prints out instead of staying in the queue, doing nothing but making me crazy.

I worked on my story, for the first time in a while after being sick and sick of work.

So I've knocked down some of the obstacles in my path, one at a time. That's what it has become. Not a celebration of things accomplished or an enjoyment of a day well spent. No, a tally of obstacles met and pushed out of the way. That's a depressing way to think of life. But I give up for today trying to be happy, think positively, stop and smell the roses and keep the petty complaining inside and focus on something deep and meaningful. That doesn't work today. No facades today. No playing nice to be an encouragement to others or pretending life is taken care of so to be an example. It's too much effort today. For at least one day I want to live in the moment instead of existing in a farcical drama for others. If that moment is rotten or disappointing then I want to acknowledge that instead of trying to be brave and happy and playing as if I can face it all with only a smile and a prayer. (No, not slamming the power of prayer or the power of the One who answers prayer. I don't understand about prayer and today I don't want to pretend as if I do and carry on as if the only thing I need is to just pray and bear it.) So there it is. Not fun or very interesting to read. But it is reality. That's why it's not fun to read. No one wants to read about ordinary every day reality. We are all looking for an escape or something to cheer us, let us leave our own rotten realities behind for a while. That's all the more reason I lay it out there. If I can dump some of it along the roadside perhaps that gives me the escape from shouldering the burden today. Even if it doesn't, today I don't care either way.