No winners

On the acronym challenge. I certainly don't understand that...

At the risk of sounding very, very trite, I just want to repeat that oft used platitude, be careful what you ask for, you may get it.

This is the path I now walk since I decided to turn an avocation into a vocation. This is a mistake that many people make. Some people turn down this road and never look back, enjoying every moment of their new job and looking for more of the same. I wish that it had been this way for me. Alas, the opposite reared its ugly head for me. I love to draw and paint and do "artsy" sorts of things. Pure pleasure. And, of course, I allowed comments from others to go to my head and make me think that I was talented enough to turn that into a second career. So naturally when I had the opportunity (after so actively pursuing this opportunity for some time), I leaped at it with all the spring I could load into my leap.

That was quite some time ago now. I just checked. The offer was made in June 2006 to illustrate a text on vestigal organs. I was flattered and very pleased and said yes without much thought. Without much thought. Therein lies my sin. It never occurred to me that it would be more than fun and a good learning experience. Well, it has been a good learning experience. I have learned the hard lessons.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate it as entirely as it sounds. I'm just cranky over a weekend that was spent working more than relaxing or doing fun things. Not work as in working overtime at my primary job. And it wasn't just the drawing that occupied my weekend either. So there are other things I can (and should) blame.

However, it always seems as if requests for drawings come at the Most Inconvenient Time. Just when I'm very busy with Other Things, or working a lot (primary job), or have A Thing that I want to do for myself (very much), or as in the current situation, when I was so sick that when the envelope came, I couldn't even muster the energy to open it. That being the case, I didn't begin work on any of the drawings for exactly one week. Now, I never really know how urgent these requests are. I'm very much in the dark about how far along this book is. I had thought it was near completion last October or so when the author asked me exactly how I wanted to be credited on the title page. Then there was the envelope that arrived in December with the note that this needed to be done as soon as possible! And my computer crashed...both of them. And the scanner wouldn't work with the computer when it did get fixed. I rushed to put together the resources to make these drawings come together and get them emailed to the author, thinking he was rushing to meet a deadline. Now here it is March and envelopes continue to come in, this last one with the assurane of "it's okay if you can't do it right now. Take your time and get well." That is why I am confused and confounded.

But I was the dilligent worker and knocked out two of the three drawings over the weekend. On Friday night when I was bent over a very tedious verted eye retina illustration, I was muttering the entire time because I wanted to relax and have fun on Friday night. Ditto Saturday night...which by the way was intermixed with computer problems and multi-tasking with two other Things To Be Done.

That is why it's not fun. That is why I feel frustrated. That is why I cannot do art for fun when I'm rushing to finish tedious illustrations. That is why I'm complaining about an opportunity that I should be very happy for. I'm sure when it's all said and done things will seem different. I try to be positive about this. And I can be some times. I just had a rotten weekend and part of it was the guilt and press of being behind because I was sick...which I still am.

And last night I was looking through an art supply catalog for more "stuff" to help me do this stuff. I like to draw, even when I don't like to draw.