Emerging

It has been a long and quiet absence from blogging. However, the intervening months have been anything but quiet, though they have been long. I am not here to cry on any one's shoulder though, nor air it all. The truth is that very few truly care to hear a whit of it, much less the gory details. I had hoped things would begin to settle by now. How many crises can happen in one's life consecutively for ten months now? Quite a few, it seems.

Life continues though. Whether one wishes it or not, it is so. No matter how difficult, how painful, nor how horrificly life can slam a person into the ground, indifferent Life goes on without skipping a beat. And perhaps that is the lesson. We must go on as well. Even in the uncertainty and hurt of events, we must go on. Is there a choice?

As it turns out, there is a choice. I've stood on the precipice many times and considered. I have felt the ground begin to crumble 'neath my feet. Someone else besides I knows what safety net has been strung and who strung it; I know not. Many times I do not care.

This time I care more. Maybe that's a sign that I'm growing up. Certainly my many years make me an adult. However, I know that inside I still tend to wander as an unknowing and uncaring child, searching for that mature one to guide me, rescue me, teach me.

To dredge up the overly used maxim and arrange it to my use, if it's true that what does not kill one makes one stronger, then I should be the Incredible Hulk at this point. I certainly do not feel it. My knees and my heart still tremble and quake each day I must face. What now? Which new round will Life fire at my broken heart? Will this be the one to still it?

It's not an enjoyable way to face each day.

Even if I may not be emerging yet from the crucible of testing, at least I am emerging from the silence. The blog may be completely passed by perusers, but it is my corner, where I can be me and take these things out to examine, and maybe leave them behind, shed them, as I do emerge from the crucible. Time will tell...as Life goes on.