Things have slipped a little and a lot in the past month or six weeks. The big slippers I'm only too aware of. The little slippers have managed to surprise me; in light of other goings on they managed to slide right past me. So it's time to halt in my steps for a few moments and figure out what is going on.
I have too much to do. Oh, sure we all do. Everyone is so busy these days. I do have all those "have to do" things as well. But my fun avocations have piled up and now seem an impossible to separate and organize pile. That's what I'm trying to figure out right now.
For starters, I need a list...
1. reading
2. art
2a. illustrations for book
3. writing
4. pattern art
For the moment, let's start with that. Those are the things that seem most important to me at the moment. Well, that makes it easy, right? I could spend one night on each project and have the weekend left for what strikes me. It seems so simple that way. But it never works out that way at all. Nights seem so short and many times I only get an hour to invest in whatever I choose to do that night. That's hardly enough time to really get into some projects. So what I really want to do is to have two, three or more nights in a row on a project. Okay, fine...sounds good to me. Then the others fall behind. Rats. No simple answer. Not to mention that unexpected things come up and spoil the rhythm of one night each. I guess there is no one good way to do it. Very frustrating for one who generally is quite organized and can always find time to tuck in for something that comes up.
So has life gotten that hectic that I can't do this anymore, or have I slipped that far from the ability to organize? That's a hard call to make. Who knows? I suppose it doesn't truly matter in the grand scheme of things. In a hundred years who will know or care? That's the pragmatic and realist way to see it rather than getting tied up in knots over it. But it doesn't really tie me up in knots. I just puzzle over it the same calm way I puzzle over a sudoku, or the Sunday crossword. The answer is there, one just must be able to apply the logic and the knowledge to entice the answer out.
Then on the other hand, I could go home, play with the dogs and talk to my wonderful spouse all night long.
Showing posts with label Pondering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pondering. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Stolen from my story...
There was a significant collection of darts and arrows on the floor of the cave. Jeren had worked steadily and mostly in silence. His mind was working out plans, thinking on ways to use the environment to their advantage, deciding how to test their toxic plants. They needed all the advantages to fight against the men stalking them, hunting them for sport. Occasionally Oren would ask him a question. Only then would the big man speak up.
Perhaps we might even lure them into a cave. If I could find enough carbon to cause a large fire, I might be able to make it flash if I could draw them in. They would be trapped and we could just wait…or better yet, if we were further in the cave and their escape were cut off. We could surprise them. There are traps we can set also, instead of having to hunt them down. We can draw them to us. That would reduce our work and our exposure. This fibrous plant would work. It could be worked into ropes. We could braid them together. These fibers are very strong. Even if they couldn’t hold a man for a long time, that could at least slow them down. We have more advantages than I thought. All I had to do was have the chance to think and evaluate. And we do have our training. In addition to giving us our strength and ability to fight, it can guide us in our attack, lead us to them.
While the big blonde man was carefully trying to bend the stick into a bow, Oren watched in fascination and wonder. Jeren was a man transformed. It had only begun to accelerate as they had spent the day working. The young man had determined it much earlier, but the more Jerel worked and planned, the more he seemed like someone that Oren didn’t know. He knew it was necessary to their survival for Jeren to think and work as he did, but still…it was more far-reaching than he would have expected for the normally easy-going fellow. This was not the same man who got a laugh out of carrying his best friend across the training area and then pinning him to the mat so the children from the crèche could tickle him.
Jeren’s face was illuminated by the firelight and his features were hard in the orange glow. His long silvery blonde hair reflected the light and almost seemed on fire. It gave the picture of a fierce warrior. The man’s eyes were not visible from this angle and all Oren saw gave the appearance of two dark areas where the man’s eyes should be. The big man’s mouth was set. He had worked at the same pace through the day, not slowing, barely stopping for a meal.
Oren quit staring and returned to his work of extracting resin from the plants Jeren had gathered. He wondered if he could find the same qualities in himself that the big blonde fellow had found. Oren knew this would be the most difficult battle he had faced before. He had tried to find strength in himself, but all the doubts wouldn’t leave him.
Perhaps we might even lure them into a cave. If I could find enough carbon to cause a large fire, I might be able to make it flash if I could draw them in. They would be trapped and we could just wait…or better yet, if we were further in the cave and their escape were cut off. We could surprise them. There are traps we can set also, instead of having to hunt them down. We can draw them to us. That would reduce our work and our exposure. This fibrous plant would work. It could be worked into ropes. We could braid them together. These fibers are very strong. Even if they couldn’t hold a man for a long time, that could at least slow them down. We have more advantages than I thought. All I had to do was have the chance to think and evaluate. And we do have our training. In addition to giving us our strength and ability to fight, it can guide us in our attack, lead us to them.
While the big blonde man was carefully trying to bend the stick into a bow, Oren watched in fascination and wonder. Jeren was a man transformed. It had only begun to accelerate as they had spent the day working. The young man had determined it much earlier, but the more Jerel worked and planned, the more he seemed like someone that Oren didn’t know. He knew it was necessary to their survival for Jeren to think and work as he did, but still…it was more far-reaching than he would have expected for the normally easy-going fellow. This was not the same man who got a laugh out of carrying his best friend across the training area and then pinning him to the mat so the children from the crèche could tickle him.
Jeren’s face was illuminated by the firelight and his features were hard in the orange glow. His long silvery blonde hair reflected the light and almost seemed on fire. It gave the picture of a fierce warrior. The man’s eyes were not visible from this angle and all Oren saw gave the appearance of two dark areas where the man’s eyes should be. The big man’s mouth was set. He had worked at the same pace through the day, not slowing, barely stopping for a meal.
Oren quit staring and returned to his work of extracting resin from the plants Jeren had gathered. He wondered if he could find the same qualities in himself that the big blonde fellow had found. Oren knew this would be the most difficult battle he had faced before. He had tried to find strength in himself, but all the doubts wouldn’t leave him.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
By Special Request
After several questions about what I read and why, I was asked to compile a reading list. This is not exhaustive, but I was exhausted when I chose these few out of the many that I could have. And yes, I have read all of thse and can recommend all of them...for various reasons, too numerous to mention here.
The Mercury 13: The True Story of Thirteen Women and the Dream of Space Flight, Ackmann, Martha
The Physics of Baseball (3rd Edition), Adair, Robert K.
Ike's Spies: Eisenhower and the Espionage Establishment, Ambrose, Stephen E.
See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism, Baer, Robert
The Baseball Fan's Companion: How to Master the Subtleties of the World's Most Complex Team Sport and Learn to Watch the Game Like an Expert, Bakalar, Nick
Crowd Culture: An Examination of the American Way of Life, Bell, Bernard Iddings
Critics of the Enlightenment: Readings in the French Counter-Revolutionary Tradition, Beneton, Philippe (Foreword)
The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science, Bethell, Tom
Stages to Saturn : a technological history of the Apollo/Saturn launch vehicles, Bilstein, Roger E.
Three Nights in August: Strategy, Heartbreak, and Joy Inside the Mind of a Manager, Bissinger, Buzz
Possibilities of Prayer, Bounds, E. M.
Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War, Bowden, Mark
Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury, Ray
The Revenge of Conscience: Politics and the Fall of Man, Budziszewski, J.
Hey Ranger!: True Tales of Humor & Misadventure from America's National Parks, Burnett, Jim
Thirteen: The Apollo Flight That Failed, Cooper, Henry S.F., Jr.
Godless: The Church of Liberalism, Coulter, Ann
The Black Book of Communism: Crimes, Terror, Repressionm Courtois, Stéphane
The Catcher Was a Spy: The Mysterious Life of Moe Berg, Dawidoff, Nicholas
Evolution: A Theory in Crisis, Denton, Michael
The Best Stories of Fyodor Dostoevsky: Including Notes from the Underground, Dostoevsky, Fyodor
The Education of Ronald Reagan: The General Electric Years And the Untold Story of His Conversion to Conservatism (Columbia Studies in Contemporary American History), Evans, Thomas W.
Tortures and Torments of the Christian Martyrs: The Classic Martyrology, Gallonio, Reverend Antonio
The Men in Blue: Conversations With Umpires, Gerlach, Larry R.
The Book Nobody Read: Chasing the Revolutions of Nicolaus Copernicus, Gingerich, Owen
Rebel with a Cause, Graham, Franklin
The Art of the Catapult: Build Greek Ballistae, Roman Onagers, English Trebuchets, and More Ancient Artillery, Gurstelle, William
A Primer on CO2 and Climate, Hayden, Howard C.
A Life In Secrets: Vera Atkins and the Missing Agents of WWII, Helm, Sarah
The Medical Casebook of Adolf Hitler: His Illnesses, Doctors, and Drugs, Heston, Leonard L.
Shows about Nothing: Nihilism in Popular Culture from the Exorcist to Seinfeld, Hibbs, Thomas S.
Sky of Stone: A Memoir, Hickam, Homer
Political Pilgrims: Western Intellectuals in Search of the Good Society, Hollander, Paul
Les Misérables, Hugo, Victor
High Calling: The Courageous Life and Faith of Space Shuttle Columbia Commander Rick Husband, Husband, Evelyn
Hamlet
Rookie, Jenkins, Jerry B.
The Battle for Rome : The Germans, the Allies, the Partisans, and the Pope, September 1943-June 1944, Katz, Robert
Dingers!: A Short History of the Long Ball, Keating, Peter
Intelligence in War: Knowledge of the Enemy from Napoleon to Al-Qaeda, Keegan, John
Lessons from a Sheep Dog, Keller, Phillip
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America, Larson, Erik
Thunderstruck, Larson, Erik
Avalon: The Return of King Arthur, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Merlin (The Pendragon Cycle, Book 2), Lawhead, Stephen R.
Patrick: Son of Ireland, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Scarlet, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Taliesin: Book One of the Pendragon Cycle (Pendragon Cycle), Lawhead, Stephen R.
Grail (Pendragon Cycle/Bk 5), Lawhead, Steve
Rogue Trader: How I Brought Down Barings Bank and Shook the Financial World, Leeson, Nick
Rare Words and Ways to Master Their Meanings: 500 Arcane but Useful Words for Language Lovers, Leighton, Jan
Inventing English: A Portable History of the Language, Lerer, Seth
The Screwtape Letters, Lewis, C. S.
And the Angels Were Silent: Walking with Christ toward the Cross, Lucado, Max
Hitler's Cross: The Revealing Story of How the Cross of Christ Was Used As a Symbol of the Nazi Agenda, Lutzer, Erwin W.
A Skeleton In God's Closet, Maier, Paul
Flames of Rome, The: A Novel, Maier, Paul L.
Pontius Pilate, Maier, Paul L.
Fatal Vision, McGinniss, Joe
Young Stalin, Montefiore, Simon Sebag
Under Fire: An American Story, North, Oliver L.
Power, Faith, and Fantasy: America in the Middle East: 1776 to the Present, Oren, Michael B.
The Dante Club: A Novel, Pearl, Matthew
Spyplane: The U-2 History, Polmar, Norman
A Physician Looks at the Crucifixion, Pries, Mitchell Peter
Modern Art and the Death of a Culture, Rookmaaker, H. R.
A Mathematician at the Ballpark: Odds and Probabilities for Baseball Fans, Ross, Ken
The Radioactive Boy Scout: The Frightening True Story of a Whiz Kid and His Homemade Nuclear Reactor, Silverstein, Ken
Deceived on Purpose, Smith, Warren
A Consumer's Guide to the Apocalypse: Why There is No Cultural War in America and Why We Will Perish Nonetheless, Velasquez, Eduardo
The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary, Winchester, Simon
Weird and Wonderful Words, Winchester, Simon
Spy: The Inside Story of How the FBI's Robert Hanssen Betrayed America, Wise, David
The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History, Woods Jr., Thomas E.
Who Made God?: And Answers to Over 100 Other Tough Questions of Faith, Zacharias, Ravi
Plagues of the Mind by Bruce S. Thornton
Intellectual Morons by Daniel J. Flynn
Political Pilgrims by Paul Hollander
The Triumph of the Therapeutic by Phillip Rieff
Monsters from the Id by E. Michael Jones
Dionysos Rising: The Birth of Cultural Revolution out of the Spirit of Music by E. Michael Jones
The Mercury 13: The True Story of Thirteen Women and the Dream of Space Flight, Ackmann, Martha
The Physics of Baseball (3rd Edition), Adair, Robert K.
Ike's Spies: Eisenhower and the Espionage Establishment, Ambrose, Stephen E.
See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism, Baer, Robert
The Baseball Fan's Companion: How to Master the Subtleties of the World's Most Complex Team Sport and Learn to Watch the Game Like an Expert, Bakalar, Nick
Crowd Culture: An Examination of the American Way of Life, Bell, Bernard Iddings
Critics of the Enlightenment: Readings in the French Counter-Revolutionary Tradition, Beneton, Philippe (Foreword)
The Politically Incorrect Guide to Science, Bethell, Tom
Stages to Saturn : a technological history of the Apollo/Saturn launch vehicles, Bilstein, Roger E.
Three Nights in August: Strategy, Heartbreak, and Joy Inside the Mind of a Manager, Bissinger, Buzz
Possibilities of Prayer, Bounds, E. M.
Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War, Bowden, Mark
Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury, Ray
The Revenge of Conscience: Politics and the Fall of Man, Budziszewski, J.
Hey Ranger!: True Tales of Humor & Misadventure from America's National Parks, Burnett, Jim
Thirteen: The Apollo Flight That Failed, Cooper, Henry S.F., Jr.
Godless: The Church of Liberalism, Coulter, Ann
The Black Book of Communism: Crimes, Terror, Repressionm Courtois, Stéphane
The Catcher Was a Spy: The Mysterious Life of Moe Berg, Dawidoff, Nicholas
Evolution: A Theory in Crisis, Denton, Michael
The Best Stories of Fyodor Dostoevsky: Including Notes from the Underground, Dostoevsky, Fyodor
The Education of Ronald Reagan: The General Electric Years And the Untold Story of His Conversion to Conservatism (Columbia Studies in Contemporary American History), Evans, Thomas W.
Tortures and Torments of the Christian Martyrs: The Classic Martyrology, Gallonio, Reverend Antonio
The Men in Blue: Conversations With Umpires, Gerlach, Larry R.
The Book Nobody Read: Chasing the Revolutions of Nicolaus Copernicus, Gingerich, Owen
Rebel with a Cause, Graham, Franklin
The Art of the Catapult: Build Greek Ballistae, Roman Onagers, English Trebuchets, and More Ancient Artillery, Gurstelle, William
A Primer on CO2 and Climate, Hayden, Howard C.
A Life In Secrets: Vera Atkins and the Missing Agents of WWII, Helm, Sarah
The Medical Casebook of Adolf Hitler: His Illnesses, Doctors, and Drugs, Heston, Leonard L.
Shows about Nothing: Nihilism in Popular Culture from the Exorcist to Seinfeld, Hibbs, Thomas S.
Sky of Stone: A Memoir, Hickam, Homer
Political Pilgrims: Western Intellectuals in Search of the Good Society, Hollander, Paul
Les Misérables, Hugo, Victor
High Calling: The Courageous Life and Faith of Space Shuttle Columbia Commander Rick Husband, Husband, Evelyn
Hamlet
Rookie, Jenkins, Jerry B.
The Battle for Rome : The Germans, the Allies, the Partisans, and the Pope, September 1943-June 1944, Katz, Robert
Dingers!: A Short History of the Long Ball, Keating, Peter
Intelligence in War: Knowledge of the Enemy from Napoleon to Al-Qaeda, Keegan, John
Lessons from a Sheep Dog, Keller, Phillip
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America, Larson, Erik
Thunderstruck, Larson, Erik
Avalon: The Return of King Arthur, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Merlin (The Pendragon Cycle, Book 2), Lawhead, Stephen R.
Patrick: Son of Ireland, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Scarlet, Lawhead, Stephen R.
Taliesin: Book One of the Pendragon Cycle (Pendragon Cycle), Lawhead, Stephen R.
Grail (Pendragon Cycle/Bk 5), Lawhead, Steve
Rogue Trader: How I Brought Down Barings Bank and Shook the Financial World, Leeson, Nick
Rare Words and Ways to Master Their Meanings: 500 Arcane but Useful Words for Language Lovers, Leighton, Jan
Inventing English: A Portable History of the Language, Lerer, Seth
The Screwtape Letters, Lewis, C. S.
And the Angels Were Silent: Walking with Christ toward the Cross, Lucado, Max
Hitler's Cross: The Revealing Story of How the Cross of Christ Was Used As a Symbol of the Nazi Agenda, Lutzer, Erwin W.
A Skeleton In God's Closet, Maier, Paul
Flames of Rome, The: A Novel, Maier, Paul L.
Pontius Pilate, Maier, Paul L.
Fatal Vision, McGinniss, Joe
Young Stalin, Montefiore, Simon Sebag
Under Fire: An American Story, North, Oliver L.
Power, Faith, and Fantasy: America in the Middle East: 1776 to the Present, Oren, Michael B.
The Dante Club: A Novel, Pearl, Matthew
Spyplane: The U-2 History, Polmar, Norman
A Physician Looks at the Crucifixion, Pries, Mitchell Peter
Modern Art and the Death of a Culture, Rookmaaker, H. R.
A Mathematician at the Ballpark: Odds and Probabilities for Baseball Fans, Ross, Ken
The Radioactive Boy Scout: The Frightening True Story of a Whiz Kid and His Homemade Nuclear Reactor, Silverstein, Ken
Deceived on Purpose, Smith, Warren
A Consumer's Guide to the Apocalypse: Why There is No Cultural War in America and Why We Will Perish Nonetheless, Velasquez, Eduardo
The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary, Winchester, Simon
Weird and Wonderful Words, Winchester, Simon
Spy: The Inside Story of How the FBI's Robert Hanssen Betrayed America, Wise, David
The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History, Woods Jr., Thomas E.
Who Made God?: And Answers to Over 100 Other Tough Questions of Faith, Zacharias, Ravi
Plagues of the Mind by Bruce S. Thornton
Intellectual Morons by Daniel J. Flynn
Political Pilgrims by Paul Hollander
The Triumph of the Therapeutic by Phillip Rieff
Monsters from the Id by E. Michael Jones
Dionysos Rising: The Birth of Cultural Revolution out of the Spirit of Music by E. Michael Jones
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Wandering Wednesday
Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you disappeared off the planet? Not a death, but just a quiet, innocuous disapperance. What would the difference be? Would anyone notice? And how long would it take for things to return to normal when you left...right away or longer? This is a thought that has visited me on and off through my life. And the answers to those questions that I posed don't come out as happy ones.
I'm one person out of how many billion? What difference can or does one person make? I'd like to be pompous and think I'd make a big difference, but I can see in many ways that the hole I'd leave would close up just like a re-sealable tire that has punctured.
Oh, no, I'm not having ideas of "ending it all". Nothing that drastic. I've grown up from that. But it's difficult to find the motivation to face each day when one feels so very low on the totem pole. And have I achieved anything of real value in my life? I don't know because I can't objectively evaluate that. I'd like to think I have, but in reality what have I done?
And there's so many things I'll never get to do either. Dreams that have been with me for years that will never be realized. I'll never walk through the heather of Scotland or the fog of London. My feet will never touch the sands of the Holy Land. I'll write hundreds of thousands of pages and never be published. I'll never be able to tell those whom I admire what they have meant to me.
I know it sounds as if I'm feeling sorry for myself, but it's not really that. It's a simple stop to take stock of life. Something I'm sure we all do now and then and at crossroads of life. When I feel the pressure and futility of things (like work right now), it does make me stop and wonder what all the fuss is about. Should I keep living the daily rut or should I break out and do what I truly feel like doing? Can I be that irresponsible. It would be, you see, because the things I want to do are not things that would gain me income and the benefits and privileges associated therewith. Would it be worth giving it all up and finding a new way to live that is, I don't know, more bohemian (sounds so trite, but a better word escapes me).
And yet every time I consider it, I go back to the safety of the rut. There are benefits and privileges assoicated therewith.
~*~
More Terence Stamp for your viewing pleasure
I'm one person out of how many billion? What difference can or does one person make? I'd like to be pompous and think I'd make a big difference, but I can see in many ways that the hole I'd leave would close up just like a re-sealable tire that has punctured.
Oh, no, I'm not having ideas of "ending it all". Nothing that drastic. I've grown up from that. But it's difficult to find the motivation to face each day when one feels so very low on the totem pole. And have I achieved anything of real value in my life? I don't know because I can't objectively evaluate that. I'd like to think I have, but in reality what have I done?
And there's so many things I'll never get to do either. Dreams that have been with me for years that will never be realized. I'll never walk through the heather of Scotland or the fog of London. My feet will never touch the sands of the Holy Land. I'll write hundreds of thousands of pages and never be published. I'll never be able to tell those whom I admire what they have meant to me.
I know it sounds as if I'm feeling sorry for myself, but it's not really that. It's a simple stop to take stock of life. Something I'm sure we all do now and then and at crossroads of life. When I feel the pressure and futility of things (like work right now), it does make me stop and wonder what all the fuss is about. Should I keep living the daily rut or should I break out and do what I truly feel like doing? Can I be that irresponsible. It would be, you see, because the things I want to do are not things that would gain me income and the benefits and privileges associated therewith. Would it be worth giving it all up and finding a new way to live that is, I don't know, more bohemian (sounds so trite, but a better word escapes me).
And yet every time I consider it, I go back to the safety of the rut. There are benefits and privileges assoicated therewith.
~*~
More Terence Stamp for your viewing pleasure
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